So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
