no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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