i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
