I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im holly from the hills drunk
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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