she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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