Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
