What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
