I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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