My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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