Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
