What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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