I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
