I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
