so that wasnt chicken after all
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Randomize
