Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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