Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
