Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
