dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
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You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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