and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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