im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
