Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
