erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
