pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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