I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Randomize