Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need a beard to bite.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
