im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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