im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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