I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
