Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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