Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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