I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
