Already got asked if we're dating
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
