YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
