if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize