question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
