he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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