A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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