Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
