I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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