I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
