sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
