He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
