I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
