i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
