I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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