This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I cut my penus on the lid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize