Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
