in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize