I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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