glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize