I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
