Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
