atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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