If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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