now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
