If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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