So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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