let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
