I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
