i think my tv is drunk
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
