either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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