I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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