I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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